Ways to Regulate Your Nervous System

A regulated nervous system can slow down, relax, connect to others, think rationally, be curious, connect to creative solutions, hold nuance, respond instead of react, and be their most authentic self. When a nervous system gets dysregulated, the amygdala (the survival center of the brain) is activated, thoughts become very black and white and threat-focused, the relational circuits are turned off, there is a lot of rushing and snap decisions, and the person is more likely to shut down their emotions or be overwhelmed by them, be more self-centered, and engage in coping mechanisms like addiction.

We are going to talk about ways to go from a dysregulated to a regulated state, but first off, it's important to note that not everyone reacts to these exercises the same way. So, if one exercise makes you feel more dysregulated instead of more regulated, you can tweak it or simply stop doing the exercise and try something else. Sensations are often linked to memories. Depending on our history, something that can feel safe to one person, might feel threatening to you, if the sensation is linked to a painful memory. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. You don’t need to judge yourself for it. Just try something else.

Secondly, all of these exercises will be unhelpful if you are using them to avoid/suppress your emotions. In the heightened state of Fight or Flight, it is sometimes too overwhelming to process our emotions, especially because our relational circuits are off. Regulation exercises can help bring us into the Rest and Digest Nervous System State, or at least a less elevated state, where our relational circuits are on and we can process through our emotions in a connected way that doesn’t feel as overwhelming. But if you are skipping connecting to yourself, and not processing through your emotions with compassion and attunement, then your body will start to resist regulation exercises, because it wants to be heard. These exercises are not the final frontier in emotional health but can be supportive tools to use alongside other practices.

Now that the purpose is a little more clear, lets look at some ways you can regulate your nervous system.

Breathe Work

4 and 8 Count Box Breathing, Wim Hof, 4-7-8 Breathing, and many more types of Breath Work can help us regulate. This is because when we are in Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Fawn, our breath tends to be shorter and shallower, whereas when we feel safe and relaxed, our breath tends to be deeper, longer, and slower. Instead of waiting for there to be a shift in your brain that changes your breath, Breath Work changes your breaths to shift the state of your brain. So it's important, whichever exercise you do, to breathe deeply and not strain too much, where it feels like you are short of air. Your lungs might need to stretch in order to do the longer breaths, so it can be helpful to start shorter and work your way up. The exception would be Wim Hof, which alternates between increasing and lowering your heart rate to increase your stress tolerance, and is not always the most helpful in the middle of feeling overwhelmed.

Vibrate Your Vocal Chords

You can do this by singing your favorite song, quietly humming a peaceful tune, or making a low 'Voo' sound, like a foghorn. These all vibrate your vocal cords in the front of your neck. Your vagus nerve (also known as the rest and digest nerve) runs through the back of your neck. The vibrations travel to the back of your neck and stimulate your vagus nerve, like a gentle massage, helping your body move into that regulated rest and digest state. 

Contract and release

The stress of being in Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Fawn can often create a lot of muscle tension. It might seem counterintuitive, but tightening these muscles even more in a contraction can help them relax on the release, sort of like the release of a spring. Also, contracting your muscles starves them of the blood flow for a moment, and when you release, the blood rushing back in, promoting healing of wear and tear. This is the kind of care and attention your stressed muscles need. In the same way that deep and slow breaths can shift the state of your nervous system, relaxed muscles can signal to your brain that it can relax too.

Stretches

Like contract and release, stretching helps loosen up muscles and promot blood flow helping your nervous system move to a regulated state by shifting the experience of your body. It's important, to be aware of your body and not overstrech, so you don't injury yourself. With all of theses exercise, they are invitations to become more aware and present with yourself, responding and shifting as needed, not force your body to do things that will hurt it.

Bilateral stimulation

Bilateral means two sides, and Bilateral Stimulation exercises involve stimulating both sides of your body. This could look like walking, bilateral tapping, tapping on your left and right side, or your arms crossed to tap your left hand on the right side and your right hand on the left side. There is also bilateral music that stimulates your right and left ear, with sound effects, best with headphones. By activating the left and right sides of your body, Bilateral Exercises stimulate the left and right hemispheres of your brain, drawing attention away from the amygdala, and help you regain full cognitive function of your prefrontal cortex. 

Safe, Physical Touch

Depending on your trauma history, you might find all touch dysregulating and unsafe, in which case, you have lots of other options you can choose from on this list. Also sometimes petting animals can also be a helpful alternative, when humans feel unsafe. But physical touch, when we have safe relationships, can trigger the release of stress-fighting hormones like oxytocin and can help our relational circuits turn back on.

Nature

Not just for the fresh air that everyone is always talking about, going out in nature and letting your eyes take in nature, and slowly roam over its shapes and patterns, helps your nervous system regulate. These patterns are called fractals, and observing them is something we can’t do when running for our lives, so taking them in lets our bodies know that we are safe, or at least safe enough. 

Engaging Your Prefrontal Cortex

You can do this with activities like puzzles, coloring, and brain-teasers that are not emotionally charged and require some level of focus, but don’t feel overwhelmingly hard. These activities can quiet the looping thoughts of the amygdala that is trying really hard to solve all your problems, but doesn’t have a lot of balance, critical thinking skills, and brings blood into your prefrontal cortex where you have more connection to solutions and rational thinking. It is possible to use these activities to avoid your probelms, but the goal would be to just do them for a little bit, till you feel relaxed and then look for solutions from that relaxed state.

Become Aware of Your Five Senses

Specifically, the physical sensations that let you know that you are safe, or at least feel neutral, and like you're not about to die. In dysregulation, our brain is focused on threat and ignores all signals of safety, so intentionally noticing sensations like the steadiness of the ground beneath your feet, can draw you into more nuanced, regulated thinking, and you see that it's not all threat. A common exercise for this is noticing 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. Again, this is for noticing the sensations that feel safe or at least neutral.

Become Aware Choices

The choices that you could make, or are already making. At the core of most traumatic things that human beings experience is a feeling of being trapped, out of control, and powerless. Noticing the choices that you do have and what you can control helps your nervous system know that you are safe and not trapped. This can look like noticing that you can say yes, no, or maybe, speak up or stay silent, do an exercise to regulate your nervous system, you could try and solve it yourself, or you can ask for help. Even when it doesn’t really feel like you can say no because you don’t like the consequences that come with that option, noticing that you are choosing to say yes because you don’t want those consequences can help your body regulate as you recognize that it is still a choice you are making.

I hope you found this list helpful. If you find yourself struggling to use these options, please do reach out, I'd loved to chat about ideas more spesific to your situation.